


The Devil in Me

by DaniofLocksley



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-03-30 07:14:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3927685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaniofLocksley/pseuds/DaniofLocksley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Second chances are never easy, particularly not when one of you is a (presumed dead) vampire the other a slayer and an apocalypse is nigh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this is going any edits are welcome. I'm already working on chapter two and a story chart. This first bit is incredibly short I know.

“No you don't, but thanks for saying it.”

Buffy woke from the memory turned nightmare to a flurry of tingles on her scarred hand for the first time in a year and a half. It wasn't a 'my hand fell asleep' kind of feeling, but a phantom sensation that mirrored what she had felt that day. A fire that hadn't burned, and words that had. Though dreams of him still surfaced this particular one had stayed buried since she had pushed everything to do with him to the back of her mind for Dawnie's sake. It took her a minute to think of the reason she would dream of that time now, her answer came in the way of the resounding silence in her apartment now that Dawn was gone and Xander was away. Dawnie was off on her senior trip in England staying with the Council and Giles, though why she wanted to spend time with the tweed brigade and musty books was beyond Buffy. Afterwards she would be off to college, she had gotten a full ride and had the chance Buffy never did. Xander was on some mission in Africa for the next few months. The dream had only stopped once Xander had made her promise to stop her deadly night excursions that had begun as soon as she'd recovered from the battle with the First.

They stayed with Angel at the Hyperion for a times free Sunnydale became a crater, then they went their own way. Most of the baby slayers went with Faith to the Cleveland Hellmouth, the rest went with Giles to England to rebuild the Council. Buffy moved further North in California to keep Dawn in a familiar area and Xander joined them as he was at a loss for what to do with himself, and rent was more manageable when split. The extra help watching Dawnie while she patrolled or went on missions was an added bonus. She had grown used to communal living with Willow and Tara, living without it was a foreign concept. Buffy's relationship with Willow and Giles was strained, it was hard to forget that the people you took care of and protected, died for twice, over the years had given up on you on the eve of battle. This made the distance between Britain and California a welcome thing in Buffy's book. Dawn she could forgive, had to forgive, she was her sister and she was young and scared under pressure from the adults and potentials that surrounded her. Xander had just lost his eye because of one of her plans so his hesitancy in the matter was understandable and easily forgiven. With Xander to help Buffy withdrew from everyone again, dreaming of those final moments on the Hellmouth night after night, and it always ended the same. They had burned together quite literally, then he was telling her to run and damn her she did. He didn't believe her, then he was gone and it was too late. He burned alone to see how it ended.

The only nights she avoided the dreams were the ones she went out looking for trouble during patrol. No wonder Spike had gone out picking bar fights in those last years, did he still dream of that night on the tower?

“Every night I save you.”

It was ironic really that she only fully understood the meaning behind that once he was gone. Oh she knew it now. She knew the need to completely exhaust ones body to avoid thinking for a bit, and if it meant getting the shit beat out of you in the process, even better. She dreamed and she relived, trying a thousand ways to change the outcome but she couldn't. So she patrolled longer, fought recklessly, punished herself for her own peace of mind. She came home progressively more battered, it turned out even Slayers don't heal fast enough to hide the kinds of injuries she accrued nightly in her quest to make her outside feel as bad as her insides. After a fight with a particularly nasty fyarl she passed out in an alley. The morning saw her returning home to Dawn already in school and a frantic pissed off cyclops of a best friend. 

“ You're the only family Dawnie's got Buff, and if you keep on like this one night you won't come back. This thing that you're doing to yourself you're scaring her, and you're scaring me. She needs you...Buff this won't bring him back. If it was as easy as that I'd be out there letting monsters turn my insides to outsides too if it meant An-”, here he stopped. They never mentioned their names, it was an unspoken rule in the house. Those who were buried under Sunnydale that day stayed buried name and all. He had to clear his throat to continue; Xander being serious like this gave Buffy the wiggins, “ Just promise me to be more careful? For Dawn?” 

Buffy had agreed, Dawnie deserved a normal life, well as normal as a former mystical key come Slayer's sister could get. That was what she got too, for two years Buffy patrolled but brought sister slayers as backup and hadn't faced a single apocalypse. She wasn't on the PTA but this was as close to apple pie as it got for the Summers family. It was surprisingly easy to obtain that level of normal now that she wasn't the one girl in all the world anymore. 

Now Dawn was gone and Xander was too far away to reprimand her, with them went her motivation to pretend that day on the Hellmouth never happened. It was unbearable. The itch to fight had only compounded over the two year hiatus and only grew the longer she stayed awake, even as the phantom itch from her scars faded. There was virtually no demon activity in the area though due to her and her sister slayers presence. Her latest report from Giles, always emailed never discussed due to their currently broken relationship, had mentioned a disturbance in L.A. No one was sure what exactly the disturbance was ,and if Giles knew he wasn't telling. Angel's status now that he worked for Wolfram and Hart was unknown and a general warning to all slayers over future interaction with him was put out to ensure they were cautious. Buffy hadn't talked to him since staying at the Hyperion so she was just as in the dark as everyone else; perhaps it was time to check it out, she hadn't had a good apocalypse in awhile. Regardless L.A. was a big city she would at least be able to find something's ass to kick, and if she kept her head down with any luck Angel would never know she was there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need betas if anyone is free? And any criticism or comments are welcome!

Luck, as it turns out, was not on Buffy's side. Though that was likely due to the fact that Buffy and being discreet were un-mixy things. How could she have known she was tailing Mr. Tall and Bumpy to a sizable vamp nest? What was really upsetting was the damage her boots had incurred, she lost one of the heels while kicking a rather rotund vamp into next week. L.A. was huge and Angel had bigger demons to fry with his evil law firm, maybe he wouldn't even notice that a good samaritan had dusted close to twenty vamps. Now where else could a Slayer find some fun around this town?

“Bloody buggering fuck!” Spike yelled out hurling a nearby chair into one of the buildings support beams, which went ignored by Angel who waited just outside. 

The nest Spike had been saving for a night like tonight was dust in the wind. It was the second anniversary of his second death during the battle with the First and he desperately needed to kill something. He roared in frustration once more but settled for punching the support beam instead of using projectiles this time around.

“Throwing a tantrum won't undust them, or help find who it was that could take out a nest this size. You have the self control of a two year old sometimes Spike.” 

“ Don't try to pull that high an mighty crap Peaches, you were looking forward to this just as much as I was.”

Things at the agency were getting progressively worse and the team had no one to turn to. Angel had tried contacting Giles about Slayer backup but he was never Angel's biggest fan and answered as one would expect. Willow had been equally unhelpful, not believing that Angel was as soulful as he said what with the working for Wolfram and Hart. Spike refused to involve Buffy for the sake of his own pride, leaving them on their own. If Spike had ever wondered at the hopelessness Buffy felt before the battle with the First he knew now. They couldn't even enlist the help of Faith as she had disappeared with Wood to the Cleveland Hellmouth with her own flock of baby slayers. Not that they could rely on her anyway, she'd call Buffy before she could say “Five by five.”, if she saw Spike was among the living, or in his case the unliving. Angel didn't like the idea of involving Buffy in anything with his grand childe around, memories of the cookie speech and who she had chosen as her champion still lingered. He knew they needed her though. Not that he was going to mention that fact to Spike while he was in need of dispelling some of his rather violent energy on someone other than him.

“Focus in helping me catch whoever could cause this kind of damage. We may have another big bad on our hands.” Angel tried to reason with his increasingly agitating childe.

Spike scoffed at the mention of a new big bad, like they needed another one on top of Wolfram and Hart trying to flay them alive and destroy the world while they were at it. 

“Probably just some upstart new clan of demons looking to move in that hasn't gotten the memo about Angel investigations putting up shop nearby. I'll check some of the demon bars, no sense in the night being a complete waste. Sniff around all you like Peaches.” 

He stalked off and out of the building hands twitched at his sides. If he found that clan may the Powers that Be help them because he intended to massacre them. Angel did indeed stick there to sniff around as Spike had put it, possessing slightly more patience than the younger vamp. There was too much dust to pick up a scent mixed with a wide array of other demons he guessed had faced whoever had done this earlier in the night. It took him a minute but he finally found something, a boot heel. 

Who would fight in boots with heels like those? With an uneasy feeling he tried to get some sort of scent through the dust and demon gut smell clogging his senses. There it was a smell he couldn't forget if his unlife depended on it. Buffy. 

Oh Spike was in for a nasty surprise he chuckled, “Goodluck boyo.”

He'd dealt with a pissed of Buffy in the past, you never quite forgot being tossed into hell after all, and he didn't envy Spike's coming reunion. With a smirk he made his way back to the firm for once not jealous of the fact that Spike would be near Buffy. Help had arrived, and would hopefully use up all its righteous anger on Spike without incapacitating him.

*****

Buffy ditched the attempts at discrepancy after the bar two, it was at the same level of unmixy as Buffy and beer, plus she'd simply stopped caring if Angel found her out. What could he do? Brood at her? No Buffy had grown immune to his wounded puppy looks over the years. By bar four she decided Buffy and beer weren't mixy but maybe Buffy and Jack Daniels were. She blamed the smell of leather and smoke that pervaded the bars for her nostalgic urge to taste it again; that and the chaos demon whose ass she had kicked. They were just as gross as Spike had described and she was pissed off and covered in the goo to prove it. That was when the liquor had come in handy, now she had a pleasant tingle in her body unlike the prickles she had felt in her hand earlier in the day. The chaos demon had buddies she discovered while exiting the bar through the side alley as they converged on her hoping to take advantage of her slightly inebriated state. 

It took her a moment to realize she wasn't fighting alone, she was midway through high kicking the demon who resembled a pin cushion when the body of one of his buddies came went tumbling past her. She was forced to focus on the fight rather than the unwelcome help when pincushion came at her again.

“Want to play a game? It's called find the stake in the needle stack”, she quipped as she drove her stake through the prickly demon. It wasn't her best, but she wasn't exactly sober so she was rather proud of it.  
It was the last of the demons except for whoever gave her some much unwanted help which she turned and found was- Spike? She was not in the mood for a shifter tonight, the first time she had faced one, soon after settling in her new home with Dawnie and Xander, she'd almost let it beat her. A baby slayer had stepped in and it changed again into whoever it was she would have trouble killing; Buffy had torn it to shreds for daring to look like him. They had only popped up twice more and the last one was ages ago, it was terrible seeing how little her memory did him justice with his doppleganger standing before her. Cheekbones that could cut glass, eyes that were the bluest she had ever seen, but she knew if she drew close they'd be dull. Shifters could mimic appearance but the eyes gave them away they were lifeless, and they never smelled like him. There had been times where she wanted one to appear just so she could see him again, today was not one of those days. He cocked his eyebrow at her and tilted his head just so as if he were about to speak, right as she reared back and punched him in the gut.

“Stop. Wearing. His. Face.”, she punctuated her words with a flurry of hits as the shifter caught on to the danger and began to fight back. God it even fought like him, matching her blow for blow perfectly mimicking his style. 

“I always knew you'd be pissed to see me again love but beating the shit out of me is a bit much even for you.” , he groaned as she held him by his neck to the alley wall. That's when she smelled it; cigarettes, leather ,and alcohol. Shifters couldn't reproduce smells only images...and his eyes oh god. She stares into them and they're just as expressive as she remembers, she always knew what he was thinking by his eyes they showed everything. 

There was an uncomfortable wet feeling on her face, tears. Tears she had not let herself shed after he sacrificed himself the way he had, and whispered “Spike?”, before her face scrunched up in confusion and anger. Spike saw what was coming next before it literally hit him. 

Buffy punched him in the nose.


End file.
